Why Most Retreats Don’t Actually Work
I’ve been going on “retreats” for as long as I can remember.
If you count elementary school field trips, then my first retreats were probably camping in a teepee at Indian Grinding Rock or heading to Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama. I fondly remember sleeping in bunk beds, eating cafeteria food, and just being somewhere completely different from my normal life.
At the time, I didn’t call them retreats. But they were.
Later, retreats became something different.
Yearbook camp, when I was Editor-in-Chief—where there was real leadership, responsibility, and pressure to deliver something that mattered.
A Kung Fu retreat, where discipline wasn’t just talked about, it was practiced.
And eventually, retreats became part of my professional world, spaces designed for transformation, insight, and growth.
And here’s what I’ve learned across all of them:
Retreats can be incredibly powerful.
But they can also be a waste of time and money.
Not because retreats don’t work, but because something essential is often missing.
Here are a few of the most common reasons that happens:
Nothing actually changes.There are insights, even breakthroughs, but no integration. Everybody goes home, and everything resets.
Most retreats don’t actually address the inner shift someone needs to make in order to become the version of themselves they say they want to become.Awareness may increase, but the deeper identity-level change that actually drives behavior is often missing.
No one says the thing that actually matters.Everyone is thoughtful and self-aware… but the real tensions stay unspoken. Without truth, nothing shifts.
The room isn’t aligned.Some people are there to grow. Others are there to network, be seen, or just get away. That misalignment dilutes everything.
There’s comfort, but not enough challenge.It feels good, but real transformation requires friction. Without it, people leave inspired, not changed.
There’s no bridge back to real life.Even powerful insights don’t stick without structure and accountability. Nobody follows up with the changes they committed to make. What happens after matters more than what happens there.
So the question isn’t really “Are retreats worth it?”
It’s: What makes a retreat actually work?
That’s the standard I’ve used to design my Coaches Retreat in Bordeaux, France.
Welcoming retreat attendees to the beautiful Rouge Bordeaux.
Harvesting grapes.
Making memories at the Dune du Pilat.
Not just inspiration in a beautiful place during the French wine harvest.
But a space where a small community of experienced coaches gather to deepen their work across three core pillars:
1. Personal growth through Enneagram work
Using the Enneagram to surface patterns, blind spots, and the deeper drivers of behavior and leadership.
2. Coaching mastery through honest, unfiltered feedback
Giving and receiving direct feedback on coaching presence, skill, and impact so each coach leaves sharper in their craft than they arrived.
3. Business development with integrity
Clarifying positioning and offers, strengthening confidence in your practice, and building a more aligned and sustainable coaching business.
In that context, sustainable change is the purpose—created through uncomfortable truths being spoken, patterns being surfaced, challenges being intentional, and integration being built in.
Because a retreat shouldn’t just be something you remember.
It should change how you lead when you return.
Learning more about ourselves through the Enneagram lens.
Trying new foods.
Making bonds to last a lifetime.
This retreat is designed for experienced coaches who are already working with clients and deeply committed to their own growth, not just the growth of their clients. Coaches who are curious about themselves, serious about their craft, and ready to expand how they show up in their work and life.
It is intentionally small and highly curated, created for those who value depth, honesty, and real development over surface-level inspiration.
If this resonates and you feel a pull toward this kind of experience, I’d love for you to learn more and apply for an interview here: COACHES RETREAT 2026.