The Enneagram Made Me Do It
I have a confession to make.
My Enneagram type is 3.
The charges?
Overachieving.
Sidestepping uncomfortable emotions.
Turning everything into a goal.
And, on more than one occasion, attempting to win at personal growth.
How do I plead?
Guilty.
But in my defense...
The Enneagram made me do it.
Except, of course, it didn’t.
There’s something I’ve always believed about the Enneagram:
Your type can help explain your behavior. It should never become an excuse for it.
And yet, it’s an easy trap:
“I’m an 8. I tell it how it is.”
“I’m a 6. I question everything.”
“I’m a 2. I can’t help helping.”
There may be truth in those statements.
But there’s an enormous difference between:
“This helps me understand why I do this.”
and
“This gives me permission to keep doing it.”
YOUR TYPE IS AN EXPLANATION. IT IS NOT AN EXCUSE.
At its best, the Enneagram reveals patterns that were operating long before we had language for them: what we notice, avoid, protect, and fear.
That awareness can be incredibly liberating.
But insight alone isn’t transformation.
We can know our type, subtype, triggers, and defense mechanisms. We can explain exactly why we reacted the way we did.
And still react exactly the same way tomorrow.
That’s self-awareness without self-responsibility.
FOR LEADERS, THE STAKES ARE HIGHER.
Because your patterns don’t just happen inside of you.
Other people have to experience them.
Your team experiences your impatience, avoidance, need for control, need for approval, or discomfort with conflict.
And your “team” isn’t just at work. Your family, friends, and partners have to experience your patterns too.
Knowing why you do those things doesn’t absolve you from taking responsibility for their impact.
The Enneagram shouldn't become:
“This is who I am. Learn how to work with me.”
It can become:
“This is what I tend to do. How do I make sure other people don’t pay the price for my unconscious patterns?”
That’s where self-awareness becomes leadership development.
KNOWING YOUR TYPE ISN’T THE FINISH LINE. IT’S JUST THE BEGINNING.
The better question is:
“Now that I can see the pattern, what am I going to do about it?”
Maybe growth looks like this:
“Ohhhhh. That’s why I do that.”
Then:
“Oh. I’m doing it again.”
And eventually:
“I can feel myself wanting to do it, and this time, I have a choice.”
That’s where the real power of the Enneagram begins.
Not becoming an expert on your personality.
Becoming less imprisoned by it.
So no, the Enneagram didn’t make me do it.
It just made it harder for me to pretend I couldn’t see it.
—---------------------------------------------
Want to put your Enneagram patterns to the test?
Join me November 6–8, 2026 for The Star Chamber: Enneagram Edition, an immersive leadership murder mystery weekend where your character is custom-written for your Enneagram type.
You won’t just learn about your patterns. You’ll step into a story designed to bring them to life and discover what happens when they show up under pressure.
👉 Learn more about The Star Chamber
And if you’re ready to go deeper with your own leadership, patterns, and growth, I work privately with a select number of leaders through 1:1 executive coaching.
👉 Learn more about working with me