The Nanosecond That Can Change Your Life
I just arrived in Bordeaux, France.
Unfortunately, one of my pieces of checked baggage did not.
Apparently, it decided Amsterdam was lovely this time of year and stayed behind.
I wasn't alone. About ten other passengers were also standing at baggage services trying to figure out where their stuff had gone.
But here's what I noticed:
Nobody was losing their shit.
Were people disappointed? Of course. A little frustrated? Definitely.
But everyone stayed remarkably calm. The baggage service employees were helpful. The passengers were kind to them. People were even joking with each other about the situation.
And I noticed something else:
I was calm, too.
Which got me thinking about the tiny moment between something happening to us and what we do next.
Viktor Frankl famously explored the idea that even when we can't control what happens to us, we retain some freedom in how we respond to it.
I think there's a nanosecond where that freedom lives.
And learning how to navigate that nanosecond can change your life.
Your boss says, “I was expecting this to be stronger.” Your heart rate jumps. Before they've even finished talking, you're preparing your defense.
Your mother says, “Are you sure you want to do that?” And somehow, within approximately three seconds, you're 15 years old again. You snap back. She snaps back. And suddenly you're having an argument about something that wasn't even an argument 30 seconds ago.
Or you've spent 20 minutes explaining your problem to a customer service representative only to hear, “Unfortunately, there's nothing else I can do.”
You feel it.
Your heart beats faster. Your breathing gets shallower. Your jaw tightens. Maybe your face gets hot.
And you want to react.
That's the nanosecond.
Most of us blow right through it.
Something happens. Something happens inside us. And we do what we always do next.
We defend. We snap. We shut down. We send the text. We raise our voice. We spiral.
And later we think, Why did I do that again?
Here's the thing: You may not be able to control that first internal reaction.
You might still get angry. Your stomach might still drop. Your heart might still race. Your mother may still possess the seemingly supernatural ability to push a button nobody else can find.
That's not the problem.
The work is catching the feeling before it chooses your next move for you.
At first, you notice it five minutes later.
Dammit. I did it again.
Then you start noticing it while you're doing it.
Eventually, you catch it just before.
Your boss makes the comment. Your mother asks the question. The customer service representative gives you the answer you absolutely did not want to hear.
You feel the surge.
And something inside you goes:
Ohhhhh. There it is.
Maybe you take a breath.
Maybe you ask your boss, “What specifically would you like to see improved?”
Maybe you remind yourself that you're no longer 15 and respond to your mother with confidence: “Yes, I’m sure. And I’m actually really excited about it.”
Maybe you tell the customer service representative, “I know you didn't cause this. Who might have the authority to help me fix it?”
None of this is particularly sexy.
Nobody is going to give you a personal growth award because you managed not to lose your shit with a customer service representative.
But that might actually be what growth looks like.
Not another insight about yourself. Not another explanation for why you do what you do.
Just catching yourself in that tiny moment, and choosing differently.
And the more you deliberately practice it, the bigger that nanosecond seems to become.
You catch yourself sooner. You have a little more room. And the response that once felt automatic starts becoming optional.
A nanosecond becomes a pause.
A pause becomes a choice.
And enough different choices can become a different life.
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