The High Cost of "Professional Ghosting"
You’ve seen it happen.
There’s a spark of momentum—an enthusiastic email, a great call, alignment all around. Next steps are discussed. Promises are made. Everyone’s “all in.”
And then… nothing.
No follow-up. No closure. Just silence.
The term ghosting may have originated in the dating world, but in reality, professional ghosting has become just as common.
People say, “I’ll circle back,” and never do.
Clients disappear after receiving a proposal.
Colleagues go dark mid-project.
Even coaches and corporate leaders—people who pride themselves on communication—vanish when things get unclear, uncomfortable, or inconvenient.
This isn’t a rant or a personal gripe from a scorned “ghostee”.
It’s a pattern. And one we’ve started to normalize.
But that doesn’t make it harmless.
Ghosting isn’t a time-management issue.
It’s often an avoidance pattern—disguised as busyness.
We ghost because:
- We don’t know how to say “no.”
- We fear disappointing people.
- We don’t know how to close a loop with kindness.
- Or maybe we’re embarrassed that we dropped the ball.
So we just… don’t respond.
And we tell ourselves, “They’ll get the hint.”
But what ghosting actually communicates—whether we mean it or not—is:
“I’m not making time for you.”
“I’m prioritizing my comfort over respectful communication.”
And —none of us are perfect.
We’ve all let messages slip through the cracks.
This isn’t about replying to every cold email, every spammy pitch, or every LinkedIn DM.
It’s about closing loops that are open—especially ones you opened yourself.
Because the more ghosting you do in the professional world, the more it can come back to haunt you—when you least expect it.
Leadership is how you show up in the world.
Not just when you’re on stage or presenting well-rehearsed ideas.
But in the follow-through. The quiet moments. The closures.
Ghosting isn’t just about the other person.
It reflects something about you.
If you leave loops open, vanish when it’s inconvenient, or disappear when the energy fades—what does that say about how you move through the world?
Are you showing up as someone others can count on?
Or as someone who only responds when it’s convenient?
Because ghosting doesn’t make you a bad person.
But it does make you an unresponsive one.
And you have to ask yourself:
Is that who you want to be known as?
Ghosting breaks more than the thread—it breaks trust.
Most likely the other person will be “fine,” but ghosting chips away at your credibility.
Because people remember.
They remember how you showed up when it was easy—and how you disappeared when it wasn’t.
And the leadership game? It’s played in those in-between moments.
The paradox is: ghosting feels easier in the moment—but harder in the long run.
That recruiter you never replied to?
That collaborator you left hanging?
That coach you forgot to follow up with?
They don’t need to be angry or dramatic to feel disappointed.
And when your paths cross again (and they will), you may have quietly closed a door you didn’t even know existed.
What to do instead? Try these simple phrases:
- “I’ve changed direction and won’t be pursuing this—but thank you so much for your time.”
- “I don’t have the capacity to respond fully, but I didn’t want to leave you hanging– here’s a quick update.”
- “I realize I never closed the loop on this. I’m sorry—and here’s where I’m at.”
It doesn’t have to be long or perfect.
Just be human. Say something.
Because silence speaks—and what it says might cost you more than you know.
Reflection:
Where might you be unintentionally (or intentionally) ghosting right now?
What conversation is still waiting for closure—on their end or yours?
This isn’t about guilt. It’s about integrity.
And the kind of leader you want to be.
Want to share a ghosting moment you regret—or want to repair?
Hit reply. I won’t ghost you.
Or go ahead and forward this to a habitual ghoster you know…
Worried they’ll be offended?
Don’t worry—they won’t reply.