When You Know Better, Do YOU Do Better?

Maya Angelou famously said, “When you know better, you do better.” It’s beautiful wisdom, but let’s be honest: knowing better doesn’t automatically mean you do better.

How often do you avoid the hard conversation, even when you know it’s needed? How often do you hold onto control instead of delegating, or hesitate to let go of toxic employees because it’s uncomfortable? Most leaders do this. Most of us do this.

The gap between knowing and doing isn’t about information—it’s about courage. The courage to respond rather than avoid. The courage to take decisive action that actually moves your team forward. The courage to disrupt habits that keep you safe—but small.

So here’s my question for you today:

👉 What is one “better” action you’ve been avoiding, and what would it take to finally do it?

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Speaking of courage, reflection, and stepping into new experiences… I want to give you a peek behind the curtain at what that looks like in real-time. Here’s a glimpse into the day-to-day at my Coaches Retreat in France that recently took place—where learning, laughter, and unexpected challenges collided in the most inspiring ways.

A Day in the Life: My Coaches Retreat in Auros, France (Part 1)

September 7, 2025 – Bienvenue!

I always feel a bit “nerv-cited” as Chef Julien pulls into the driveway of Rouge Bordeaux with the van full of coaches. Thoughts swirled through my head. “Will the coaches all get along?” “Will they have the transformation they seek?”

There’s something magical about that immediate moment before a retreat begins—the hush before the front door opens. Coaches rolled in with their suitcases and nerves, but within minutes, the air was buzzing with connection. 

Over apéritifs and amuse-bouches, we looked around the circle and jumped into a coaching exercise, curious and open. Nearly complete strangers at 5:00pm, already friends by 7:00pm, when we sat down to our first French meal together.

The wine flowed, conversations deepened, and I caught myself thinking: This is why I created this. This is the work I’m meant to do.

September 8, 2025 – Touching The Fruits of Our Labor

By mid-morning, we were in the vines at Château La Corne, a biodynamic vineyard. The sunlight flickered through rows of grapes, and Steve, the winemaker, handed us small clippers. “Harvesting is about patience,” he said, “and noticing what’s ready, and what’s not yet.” I couldn’t help but smile—wasn’t that exactly what coaching is?

The day was grounding and real as we got to participate in a tradition thousands of years old. Steve reminded us that one of the most special parts of this grape-picking tradition is that they always did it with a partner, and what helped pass the time were the conversations. 

Juice stained our hands (and feet when we stomped the grapes), laughter rang out across the fields, and I found myself thinking about how rare it is for leaders—let alone coaches—to slow down enough to literally touch the fruits of their labor.

Back at Rouge Bordeaux, our evening coaching session felt richer, grounded by the vineyard. One coach said, “I didn’t know how much I needed to be this close to the earth.” And I knew exactly what she meant.

Dinner was a homemade pumpkin soup with all the fixings. It was hearty, comforting, and rustic. By the time we circled up for evening reflection, the room carried a softness, the kind that comes only after shared work and shared wine.

September 9, 2025 – Walking the Vineyards

This morning’s coaching session was deep. When coaches coach coaches, something extraordinary happens—the masks drop faster, the insights come sharper, and the breakthroughs ripple through the room like waves.

The coaches had an opportunity to dream and scheme with a partner. They got to share out loud the biggest dreams that they wanted to create.

After lunch, we strolled in the warm French countryside to Château Le Peyrère, where Jonathan Lucas, the winemaker, welcomed us. His generosity was palpable as he poured us tastings straight from the barrel. “Wine,” he said, “is a living thing. It changes in the barrel, in the bottle, in your glass—and even in you.”

I thought: isn’t that exactly what happens at retreats? We arrive one way, we ferment together, and we leave transformed.

As a group, we got to coach Jonathan weaving in his Enneagram type. It was powerful to coach a French local on his home turf. We learned so much about ourselves as coaches, and also what makes us human across cultures.

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✨ To be continued… stay tuned for Part 2, where I’ll share how the second half of the retreat deepened everything we had begun.

P.S. Just like in leadership, retreats are about more than knowing—it’s about the courage to step in, let go, and be transformed. In Part 2, I’ll share what happened when we leaned even further into that courage.